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 stream
of consciousness
This art work,
now in my possession as a giclee print, since the original 30” x 48”
piece sold to a woman working at the Fresno Metropolitan Museum, is
now showing as a 35.5” x 22 “ print. I’ve included it in this
presentation because it was a spearhead for this most recent series.
It is not new to this series, but I wanted to include it because it
relates to some of the other emotions I’ve expressed in this
collection. It’s one of those signature pieces that people asked me
about and felt so moved by the focus subject chair. The painting is
primarily dark in color, using black as the background color, with
reds. There is a white outline of the chair, with green colors
worked in, and in the background the words “I AM NORMAL”.
This piece, which so many people assumed was titled, I AM NORMAL, is
actually titled “stream of consciousness”, and the reason for this
is because the chair itself, sitting alone in the dark represents so
many times where I’ve been in a room speaking very candidly about
something that’s going on in my life, whether it be in therapy or in
different group situations, meetings and things of that nature, and
there’s always that sense of feeling am I normal?, am I okay? Is
what I’m going through alright?, am I going to be okay? So many
times we’re looking for that validation of feeling normal. I think
in every regard no matter what we go through we have to come to a
realization that we’re okay. It was that feeling at that time when I
did this painting, that I finally felt like okay, you know what, no
matter what I’ve been through and will continue to go through, I am
normal and I’m not going to worry about whether everyone sees me
that way or not, I have to feel good about myself, and realize that
even if things in general in my life don’t feel normal and don’t
seem normal, I’m normal and I should be able to respond to things in
a way that feels normal to me and try to work through situations to
the best of my ability. This painting expresses that thought. The
red symbolizes the times of anger, times of uneasiness,
uncomfortableness and the chair itself although partially just an
outline gives that feeling, or at least what I was trying to
express, that sense of not completely feeling there; not being whole
or complete, or in the situation, trying to exist, feeling like a
shell of myself. The green represents life. I enjoy the color green
because it’s a very comforting and life giving color, it represents
so much that is growing around us, like trees and plants, and so,
this was a color that I felt signified where I was at that moment. I
was going through these difficulties and I still am, but I feel like
I’m growing from the situation.
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